Are You a Stressful Dreamer? Here's why

 

Woman in Dreamland

Why do we dream? Or what really is a dream for that matter?

Every technical definition defines a dream as a series of thoughts, feelings, images, actions or sensations that a person experiences through sleep. Some modern definitions call it a series of emotions and suppressed desires that play out at will while we have no control. In theory, while dreaming, the body should be in a sedated state, and the brain actively entertains you with places and situations that differ or whatever places the body and soul like to be in. So, what do you do when the dreams are constantly placing you where you would never want to be?

Dreams can either place us in a state of bliss or a state of fear. The imagery for a stressful dreamer is some of the scariest stuff one might imagine.

Most that deal with these nightly terrors face a very similar monster during the other half of the day, anxiety. Sound familiar? Well, that's because the brain can be conditioned to find every corner of danger or possibility thereof, and that doesn't just shut off at night. Allowing fear to be the main driver of your emotional container is one of the unhealthiest things you can do. It's worse than smoking. Click this article by Daily Mail.com to read up on the subject

An anxious person is a stressful dreamer. And a stressful dreamer is an anxious person.

I suffered from insomnia for years just because of the state I would be in after dreaming. The way my mind couldn't tell the difference between danger in the real world and danger in the dream world was scary. Add Deja Vu into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

If you experience any of these symptoms in waking life, you most likely have taxing dreams that wake you feeling more exhausted than you did when you laid down. Do you ever experience..

1. Paranoia
2. Unprecedented nausea
3. Heightened sensitivity
4. Feelings of regret
5. Memory lapses
6. Anger spurts or outbursts without warning
7. Suicidal thoughts
8. Constant worry of the unknown 
9. No appetite

These are the leading causes in my experience that bring about night terrors, sleep paralysis, bedwetting and other sleep related illnesses. It is these factors that play out daily while we're none the wiser, and although we may have brushed it off or disengaged in that moment, the brain is keeping very specific tabs of how it could have played out in a number of scenarios. Keep in mind it isn't always the forward projection that we engage with, but instead the principle and the reason for the engagement.

Remember that everything in this life is set up to give you choice, and sometimes, within our free will we repress that choice to live freely in the moment, which results in things like 

1. Resentment
2. Shame
3. Misunderstanding
4. Harbored anger
5. Doubtfulness within self
6. Low self esteem
7. Negative self judgement
8. Self-hatred

Recognizing your battles in the day will undoubtedly protect your peace in sleep. Once you're able to identify the feeling and resonate with it, think back to what brought these feelings about, and for this you have to dig deep. I recommend keeping a journal to document when these feelings arise, about what time, where you were, and any key players other than yourself if there are any. Jot down this information ASAP, that way when you have time, you're able to reflect on your surroundings in that moment, any tones of voice that may have offset your nervous system. Think back to any distractions that were occurring in that moment. We're you more focused on the situation at hand or something in the background?

Maybe you notice at 6pm you had an angry outburst while cooking which resulted in a loss of appetite, and resentment towards yourself for not handling your emotions better over something so simple. However, while reviewing your notes that night, you remember the kids had been fighting for 2 hours straight, and the cake you made for dessert was knocked to the floor during the chaos.

Breaking this situation down reminds you that you're human. Anyone would be frustrated after spending hours on a project for it to be ruined in seconds. Anyone would be annoyed by burning dinner after just leaving the grocery store. Even the most skilled educators start to get a bit perturbed at the noise level when it's been too long. You're Human. It's going to happen, and beating yourself up isn't going to change the fact that it happened.

Moving forward, the best thing to do for yourself is to let go the idea of perfection. Perfection is the catalyst to stress and anxiety. None of us are perfect! We all play a role in each other's lives whether we know it or not and believe it or not, your role wasn't the worst part played.

We often sleep to escape daily troubles, only to discover the troubles have come on down to dreamworld with us. What you can do to minimize the amount of undue stress you have to endure during sleep, is take control of your day. You have to minimize the stress in the day, find the interactions that are causing it and deal with it before winding down.

If you're having trouble quieting your mind before winding down here are some more helpful resources

Earplugs for Sleeping – Loop US (loopearplugs.com)

Insomnia medication and treatment available online (plushcare.com)

19 Simple Ways to Fall Asleep Fast (healthline.com)

7 Ways to Get Back to Sleep (webmd.com)

These simple exercises combined with the methods provided in this reading should result in a less stressful sleep and much happier dreams. Good luck and sleep tight!