I Don't Believe In Coincidences

 Do you break down your words into smaller words? Do you divide numbers quickly by breaking the bigger number into smaller ones and so on and fourth until you have the answer? Do you associate a random assortment of letters with a commonly used phrase almost instantly upon seeing it? Well good news Miss Thang. You are not only a really smart person, but you like using the left side of your brain as opposed to, or more than your right. 

Very Well Mind describes the characteristics of a right brained person as 

being more emotional, intuitive, and creative. They are often described as doing well in careers that involve creative expression and free-thinking, such as becoming an artist, psychologist, or writer.

  You can imagine how mind blown I was when researching this topic to prove myself right about being a left-brainer only to be painfully proven wrong. I resonate most with numbers and letters. I can count change at the drop of a hat. What is 100.00 minus 6.87. Easy 93.13. Even writing the title of this, I see the word COIN at the base. Very simply put, I've gone my entire life believing I was a left- brainer. 

 

 

   Due to this very belief engrained in my brain alongside a very...diverse life, I adapted one proverb and one proverb only. I Don't Believe In Coincidences. 

If I walked past money in an empty vicinity I would assume it was for me. This is not to be confused with finding money on the floor in a closed space and not asking who it belongs to. But, absolutely, if I were to run across some good luck in the moment, it was absolutely mine and I was going to bask in it. I remember going to rent my first HOUSE. And not an apartment y'all (no shade to the apartment girlies. I love a good 2br 2ba) but a real house. With a real yard and a real parking space for just me, right along side my house under an awning, so when it was raining I didn't have to get wet. A real house where I could decorate each room (within reason) and no one was coming to do unwanted air filter change or neighbors playing unreasonably loud music while I clean, interrupting my Jhené Aiko. 

I was very grateful for the upgrade yes, but even before I got the approval, I witnessed two coincidences back to BACK! And I was certain that they would let me have it.

I first went to pick up the key when a woman pulled up at the same time as me. I kindly held the door for her to which she declined. I insisted and she declined once more. She actually held the door for me, and we both happened to be heading to the same place. The rental office. Uhoh! I asked for the key to view the home and as the receptionist was about to tell me there was only one key left for the day, the kind woman behind me stated she was there to view the same home. Double uhoh. But I am sooooo sorry, I have two kids and life was "lifing" ok? I had to make a move and make one quick and any other time I would have considered several factors before taking the key. Call me crazy but I'm a nice lady. 

I would have taken into consideration her age, the fact that she had a slight limp, and that she had held the door for me and the babies. I would have taken into consideration that I didn't need to move in that very month and that I probably had more resources than she. I even would've allowed fate to run it's course and say "hey, if it wasn't for me it wasn't for me". 

But I did need this home. I mean I really needed this home. So logical and understanding thinking went out the window and scarcity brain took over. Now after we got the key in hand we headed over to view this beauty in person. It was ok, but I was more excited about what it meant. Barbecues in the summer, birthday parties in the winter. It meant girls' night on a Thursday at my place. It meant...safety.

Tell me why we walk in this house, I got my little Mcdonald's caramel frappe in hand, shades on, kids looking good. We walk in and take a good look around. We like it immediately. The baby asks for a sip of my coffee. And by baby I mean 2yo and by a sip I mean he wanted to do a transfer of ownership. I'm in the bathrooms checking everything out I hear two sounds at the same time. Crying. And I have two children. So you do the math. I run out to the main area, frantically looking left and right trying to decide which case needs more tending to. 

On my left my 2yo was sprawled out across the floor, tummy down and my frappe was next to him looking equally dismantled. 😭😭😭 I picked the baby up, but I was internally screaming about that frappe. And then I just wasted 4 dollars... well about 2.25 because I drank half, but still! I just got perturbed all over again so let's move on. I then look to the right and my 3yo's HEAD was literally stuck between two of the banisters on the deck outside. HOW??? Do not ask me Ladies I was just as shocked watching as you are reading. All I imagined was that episode of Martin when Gina had her head stuck in that headboard. Because How?. If you're a mother, or any kind of parent for that matter you KNOW this wasn't my fault. I was thinking to myself " Now I KNOW I'm not out here trying to better our lives and y'all are trying to sabotage me?? I know this can't be" 😂

 

 Now most would have called this an Omen of sorts. They would say "that must be bad luck, because no number of coincidences happen like that". They're right. But so am I. See, even though these events seemed misfortunate at the time, I always look at the glass 3/4 full simply because I don't believe in coincidences. There was sticky coffee on the floor and I had nothing to clean it with. My kid's head was wedged in a deck and I'm by myself. I don't know about you ladies, but I am NOT strong enough, in all of my 5'4 stature, to pull apart two wooden planks, AND release a small child from between them. But somehow, I got him out unscathed, and I found a towel and a bottle of water in my car to clean up the spill. See where I'm going with this? No such thing. Instead of looking at these mishaps as curses, I smiled and counted them as small little reminders that this home is for us, and these little adventures were just the beginning. Not only did I get the last key for the day by chance, but these kids basically christened the home for us.

I could spew out countless reasons with solid evidence of why I adapted this motto but it won't do any good. I believe that peoples' beliefs can only be expanded as far as their willingness to obtain new knowledge. If you enjoy looking for reasons to blame everyone but you, then you will always believe in coincidences. You'll say "this woman just HAPPENED to be speeding down the road at the same time I "coincidentally" ran a stop sign". You see what I mean? I always wait until the last minute to do any and everything; aka; procrastination, and the only time I rush to a project is when I'm going to abandon it in 4-6 weeks. Now remember I told you I went into adulthood thinking I was left brained. Ignoring the biggest coincidence of all. I have the characteristics of a right-brained person but I'm smart like a left brainer.

I'm thinking it's one big coincidence why I don't particularly like math but I'm good at certain parts of it. I'm thinking it's a coincidence that I like doing projects, but I don't like when I'm given an unnecessary project, one with an unnecessary deadline. One big coincidence that I know what order looks like, but I am totally disorganized to the untrained eye. But to me, my chaos is organized and filed away by date and color.

 

And then BOOM! I'm cooking dinner one night, doing schoolwork with the babies and we're hitting a wall. I do a little research to understand THEM better and ended up finding out I was the problem. 

This whole time I was equating my scholastic abilities to my genetic makeup, and then pushing that onto my children while saying things like "this should be easy for you. I'm smart and I know I've placed something in your DNA which allows you to be the same." Sound familiar? Yeah. I was wrong but I was right at the same time.

Yes, I am academically gifted but not by choice. I know the capital of every state not because I'm "left-brained", but because I actually use more of my right brain to learn creative new things. Part of the trouble we have is reading and writing. So even though I'm good at those things, not by choice, also not complaining, but my sweet baby boy actually didn't get that part of the DNA that makes him like reading and writing. He's having trouble not because he doesn't want to understand or not because he's not smart, but maybe at this point in time he doesn't see a point. He would rather be riding a bike, or painting, or creating music. No matter how much I may try to force him into his schoolwork if his soul is truly not connecting, it's no coincidence. Once I adapted this mindset, I changed his form of learning, got a little more interactive and a little less structured, and we made magic! 

 

 

If you've read this far then you probably are a right brainer too. In fact, you're probably trying to give yourself a little social media break and you came across my blog. You're probably in the middle of a project, got distracted, and then clicked a few links in this article before reaching this point. That's ok. I took an equal number of breaks while writing. It's important to remember your timing, and that maybe you procrastinate for a reason. Don't give all the credit to genetic makeup and science, but the next time something is a little hard for you to grasp, in any sense, just think of the possibility of it happening organically. If those chances are slim to none then I want you to take it for what it is. Practice your gratitude and say with a smile; "this was meant for me, because I don't believe in coincidences".

Enjoy this recipe my friend sent me for TACO PASTA yum!!!

Ingredients

• 1 cup
  Cheddar Cheese (shredded)
• 1 cup
  Monterey Jack Cheese (shredded)
• 4 ounces
  Velveeta Cheese (cut into cubes, equal to 1/3 cup, can sub with 3/4 cup shredded cheese)
• 1 pound
  Ground Beef (85% lean)
• 1 tablespoon
  Butter
• 2 cloves
  Garlic (minced)
• 1 ounce packet
  Taco Seasoning
• 1 tablespoon
  Worcestershire Sauce
• 2 tablespoons
  Tomato Paste
• 1 cup
  Beef Broth
• 1 cup
  Chicken Broth
• 1 cup
  Whole Milk (at room temp)
• 1 (10 ounce) can
  Rotel Tomatoes (with green chilies, undrained)
• ½ pound
  Medium Pasta Shells (see notes)